I am Here

Now it seems that you’ve

disappeared.

drifted away.

no longer in touch with so much of this world.

you no longer speak to your family,

you no longer call your friends,

you only speak with me,

and so many of our words

are spoken in silence.

in those quiet moments, it’s as if sometimes

we say so much,

speaking of our love undying devotion.

but sometimes in our silence

a wave of awareness drowns me in uncertainty,

as if even when I’m calling out to you,

you only hear

that faint voice in the distance,

with you wandering on the shores of your distant dreams

in a world even I cannot know.

I always hope there will come a day

you’ll find your way back,

yet each day, you’re one step further.

I think, if you hold my hand you can walk back with me,

but it’s like I’m the rope in the tug-of-war,

always trying to come a little further with you,

always trying to stay rooted back home,

and not sure which hand to let go.

My love, don’t drift too far.

I see you need this.

I see you’re seeking,

trying to find a root for yourself,

not knowing what it will be

or if you’ll ever find it.

my love, hold onto me.

I will be near.

sometimes, oh, I am so tempted

to ask you to take me with you,

but you’ve gone to a place I don’t belong.

I’ll wait

while you’re gone,

and while you’re there

I will be with you, here.

my vigil is yours.

my heart is beside you.

our souls have touched, my love.

my only solace is —

that if you become lost,

a part of me will be lost with you.

Is there nothing more to do?

Is there nothing more to say?

I am just, after all, another mere soul,

lost in this world, lost far away.

You could have brought me back.

You were my only confidant.

For you I shared what I thought,

for you I shared all that was in me.

Never once did I open up like I did to you,

my thoughts and emotions,

never once did any other know of,

You were my friend, my only best friend.

But now I could only smile,

I guess it's all just from self-pity.

After all, who wouldn't feel stupid,

angry and guilty, after opening up

To a person who could merely drift away,

to a person you thought you knew,

to a person you thought would always be.

to a person you thought would stay.

I was ready to give more to you,

to be the best friend I could ever be.

But see, you left, or maybe I did.

Things weren't just right anymore.

I guess that's life.

Nothing stays, nothing remains,

And all I know now is that this is life,

And I hate it for being so